Issue #1: There are too many pictures of cupcakes on Tumblr. It’s killing me. If I didn’t have ENORMOUS self control right now; I’d be baking the fuckers 24/7.
Issue #2: Judging Others
I wish people would just chill the fuck out and stop trying to judge everyone else. If it’s not hurting you, or your family then it’s none of your business. People love to get into other people’s beeswax about the most benign things and I don’t get the waste of energy.
Two things people just love to make assumptions about me are that I’m a stay at home mom and that I don’t drive much. Let’s tackle them one at a time.
Yes, I do not work outside of my home. No, I do not have small kids. My kids are teenagers. Here is the deal: my husband makes good money and we live within our means. By that, I mean within the means of one income. We have a small house and I drive a 15 year old truck. My husband has a company car so we have no car payment. In a town where most houses average over $200,000., ours is worth half that. We don’t usually take vacations and we shop at Wal-Mart. I am here because my kids (especially my youngest one) are very busy active kids. I can always get them from point A to point B. I never have to worry about missing any of their games and they are generally not unsupervised in my house. No, I’m not a domestic goddess. I had hoped I would be…but I’m not. Sometimes they get pizza rolls for dinner and I don’t scrub the floors on my knees everyday. But, everything gets done…there is a lot less stress and pressure on my husband who is a very busy upper level manager for a huge corporation. I am A LOT HAPPIER too. I worked before. When my husband was building his career, I worked because we had no choice. We couldn’t have bought food or clothed the kids back then otherwise. but I do have a choice now and I choose to not have a career. I am not made for that kind of life. I don’t juggle stress well at all. Sometimes I feel like the feminist movement of my mother’s generation took away the choice to stay at home. While the intention was to let women know they could choose to have a career, they forgot to say, “but if that’s not your thing, that’s okay too”. Instead dual incomes became the norm and no one stops to think if it’s really what they want.
Well let me tell ya, I get the shit about this. People think it’s okay to say “Wow are you lucky” (insert snarky tone of voice). Yes, I am lucky that my husband respects my choice and provides for his family like he does but luck doesn’t play into the fact that we made choices and SACRIFICES that make it possible. I know women who live in McMansions and drive 50K SUV’s who act like if they didn’t work they’d be on the bread line..give me a break. If you lived a more simple life you could stay home too, if you CHOSE TO.
I don’t have to justify what I do all day but people seem to think it’s okay to ask. Well let’s see.. I’m not cooking meth, I’m not beating old people, I’m not building a bomb, I’m not killing kittens… SO WHO CARES if I’m on facebook (or Tumblr actually but thankfully none of my peers really know about that yet!) all the time. Who freaking cares?! Ugh.
Secondly, no I do not drive on the highway, sorry. I know that limits me being able to drive to your house/party/invitation/blah blah blah. Well it is what it is. I am phobic about it. I can’t help it. Getting pissed at me if i don’t come visit isn’t going to change that. I am honest with people about it, everyone knows, so why is it an issue? It’s been this way for 20 years and I don’t think it’s going to change. No I’m not too lazy to come see you. I’d love to come see you. if I had a transporter, or a bus (we have no public transportation) I’d be there in a heart beat. In the meantime, shut up and come to my house!